Hard fork suggestion: Decreased block reward rather than increased block time? [Satire]

Assuming the intent of increased block times is actually block reward reparation--instead why not make said reparations but maintain current 600 second block targets by simply decreasing the block reward by10% to 5.625 BCH. No 10% confirmation delays needed and miners get to see exactly what they're voting for up front! Alternatively, if we're bothering to change the block target time why not change it to 330 seconds (5.5 minutes) and decrease the block reward to 3.125 BCH. Additionally, we could even wait until two weeks before the August 15th code freeze to introduce the idea by submitting the code and proposal while completely ignoring all other alternatives. This could have the added benefit of sowing even more fear, uncertainty, and doubt and creating even more division but hey, shorter confirmation times. Win/win?

submitted by /u/kertronic
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/btc/comments/hz9hqq/hard_fork_suggestion_decreased_block_reward/