This story attempts to present a detailed allegorical history of BTC, BCH, and BSV while avoiding terms like "blocksize", "hashwar", and "node".
10-minute read.
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Once upon a time in a large city, there were muffins for sale. Every store sold them, and everyone ate them for breakfast every day. They were never made fresh — these factory-made muffins were greasy and loaded with artificial preservatives to give them a long shelf life, but they were the only kind of muffin the people of this city knew, and everyone was content with them.
...Well, almost everyone. A small group of people were aware of the negative health impacts of the oils and artificial ingredients in their city's muffins, and knew of the corrupt ways in which the medical industry profited from the health issues people were getting from eating their precious muffins. One day, an anonymous member of this small group known only as "The Muffin Man" published a recipe for homemade muffins — they tasted better and were healthier than the standard muffin sold throughout the city. He called his invention FreshMuffin. Nobody had seen anything like it. After verifying that a few other people were able to bake this new creation, The Muffin Man was never heard from again.
Before long, a few of the people who learned how to bake FreshMuffin opened a small shop to only sell FreshMuffins. The people who bought them loved them and never again wanted to eat any other muffin. The shop slowly but steadily gained business, and the shop's owners quickly became overloaded with work — they needed help with managing their shop! And so they brought in additional management personnel to help with their work.
As they gained popularity, they could see a trend — their shop was getting more crowded, and the checkout lines were getting longer. People were already waiting 10 minutes in line just to buy a single FreshMuffin. This problem was only going to get worse, and they needed to expand somehow. All the management agreed that they wanted to make FreshMuffin the new standard muffin in their city, because everyone would be healthier if they ate FreshMuffin instead of the common greasy muffin.
The shop's original owners noticed that the store next to them in their strip mall was vacant and the space was available to rent. They could easily knock down the wall between the two shops and double their size...double the ovens, double the shelf space, double the cash registers, double the maximum muffin sales. This would solve their problem until they got even more customers, at which point they would need to find even more retail space and eventually open up multiple locations across the city. They would likely be able to afford this, as long as they were careful not to let their expansion outpace their sales.
Unfortunately, much of the management help they hired had a different idea. They believed that if FreshMuffin was going to grow to become the new standard muffin, then it would need to be sold at every store in the city, just like the current standard muffin. In order to accomplish this, they would have to open up a factory to mass-produce FreshMuffins and ship them to every store in the city. They would also need to add some preservatives to the FreshMuffin recipe to keep the muffins fresh for longer, because it would inevitably be several hours between when muffins were baked at the factory and when they arrived on the shelf at a store. Needless to say, it would take years to build a factory and get this plan rolling, but it would be an easy way to take advantage of the FreshMuffin brand name to make a muffinload of money.
The original owners of the FreshMuffin shop adamantly disagreed with this plan — they believed that a FreshMuffin with preservatives was no different from the existing unhealthy muffin that they were trying to replace! They believed that the only way to sell healthy muffins to all the people of the city was to sell them only at locations where they were baked in-house.
These two groups of FreshMuffin management were no longer able work together peacefully. The original owners of the shop who wanted to expand into the location nextdoor lost the legal battle over ownership of the FreshMuffin brand name, so they opened a new store, larger than the original, and they called it Fast&Fresh Muffins. Their new store sold the same muffins as the original store and they could handle several times the number of customers, but they got less business because they didn't have the same brand name. Meanwhile, the original and smaller FreshMuffin shop became overcrowded and expensive — people often waited for half a day to buy a muffin, and people were willing to pay a higher price for the muffins, because they couldn't bake enough for everyone who wanted to buy them. Because of this, the shop would only sell their muffins to those who paid the most.
After a year of operating the Fast&Fresh Muffin shop, one of the co-owners marveled at just how well a larger building solved the problems that the FreshMuffin shop was having. Even though his own shop wasn't yet getting crowded, he wanted to move into a much bigger building, something the size of a warehouse. Just a few of these extra-large shops would be able to serve everyone in the city, and he wanted to set up those shops immediately. The other owners of Fast&Fresh Muffins saw this as a bad idea, as the operating costs would be too high, and thought that multiple smaller shops would be better than a few large ones, because having many locations around the city would be more convenient for customers.
Even so, nothing would stop this man from moving forward with his plan to buy a few warehouses. He wanted to use the Fast&Fresh Muffin brand name, but the other owners wouldn't cooperate, and so he claimed to be The Muffin Man (the creator of the FreshMuffin recipe) in an attempt to win the legal battle over the brand name. He ultimately lost and couldn't prove that he was The Muffin Man, so he split from his business partners and had to give his muffin warehouses a new name — The Original Fresh Muffin.
Meanwhile, the very first FreshMuffin shop was still overcrowded, and their new factory had begun producing muffins at a small fraction of capacity. They had many bugs to overcome — sometimes the muffins weren't packaged correctly, causing them to fall out of their packaging. Sometimes the factory equipment didn't mix the ingredients correctly. And even when things worked right, those who had tried a real FreshMuffin were frustrated with the factory-produced ones, even though they were cheaper and easier to get. They just didn't taste like the real thing. Fortunately for the factory owners, most people in the city hadn't tried the original homemade FreshMuffin or the muffins made by Fast&Fresh Muffins, so their new product was still getting some business because of the fame of their brand name.
The owners of Fast&Fresh Muffins realized that expanding into a greater number of locations also meant having higher operating expenses, and they didn't want to go bankrupt like "The Original Fresh Muffin" was sure to, and so they found ways to improve their existing shops. They modified their ovens to fit more racks so they could bake more muffins at the same time. To get customers through checkout faster, they bought cash registers with faster hardware, upgraded their internet speed to make credit card transactions faster, stopped accepting personal checks, they ordered custom muffin wrappers with barcodes printed on them, and they even let customers pay online and pick up their muffins in-store. Even though they didn't want to distribute their muffins to every store across the city like the FreshMuffin owners were trying to do, they still had plans to do what they needed in order to sell fresh and healthy muffins to every single man, woman, and child.
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Did you figure it out?
fiat = greasy preservative-heavy muffins
BTC = FreshMuffin
BCH = Fast&Fresh Muffins
BSV = The Original Fresh Muffin
lightning network = FreshMuffin factory
Satoshi Nakamoto = The Muffin Man
Blockstream = additional hired management of original FreshMuffin shop
Craig Wright = the man claiming to be The Muffin Man
blocksize = muffin shop size
a BTC/BCH/BSV node = a shop which sells muffins
graphene, schnorr, etc = Fast&Fresh shop improvements
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/btc/comments/cmylhd/the_muffin_saga_the_history_of_three_bitcoin/
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