But seriously, the Lightning Network is dog shit. It's best characterized as a form of "semi-custodial banking." It's a necessarily-imperfect substitute for the actual Bitcoin network, and one with an inherent tendency towards massive centralization. Moreover, it becomes an even more imperfect substitute--and its incentives towards massive centralization become progressively stronger--as on-chain fees rise. The idea that it represents any kind of meaningful "scaling solution" for Bitcoin is a complete farce. Expanded explanation here.
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/btc/comments/hylv5l/my_joke_about_the_lightning_network_is_super/
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