Announcing BitcoinSOS (Soul Of Satoshi) Client - The most Satoshi client out there! Don't believe us? You're a socialist!

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We are excited to announce the arrival of our new Bitcoin Cash client BitcoinSOS (Soul Of Satoshi).

BitcoinSOS has 128 Petabyte blocks. None of this socialist 128MB crap! 128MB is for pussies who don't want to compete. We have the biggest blocks!

BitcoinSOS is the truest vision of Satoshi out there. We actually codified Satoshi's soul into this client. It is so Satoshi that you don't need to even listen to anyone else any more. Just listen to BitcoinSOS and don't think. We are going to lock the protocol down.

Since there is nothing you can do about it we might as well explain our strategy:

  1. Build a media company to control the conversation both online and in-person at conferences. Our new media company will be called CoinNerd.
  2. Hire some paid shills. Blockstream's tactics worked like a charm, so we thought, why not adopt their strategy. Anytime an discussion comes up concerning our interests we'll ramp up the rhetoric in favour so it seems like there is natural support in the community for us.
  3. Build an echochamber. We aren't lucky enough to control our own r/bitcoin so we'll need to build one. We'll install a head mod that seems 'independent' but really serves our interests to a T. We know how well it worked on r/bitcoin so all we need to do is copy that and people will fall inline. Whoever doesn't will likely leave anyway, and those who don't leave we can just kick out. This will be the perfect place to organise attacks against our enemies Dragon's Den style.
  4. We'll try and get the BCH developers to sign a contract swearing allegiance to BitcoinSOS.
  5. If that fails we'll say that BitcoinSOS is the only client that represents Bitcoin and Satoshi's will. Anyone who does not agree with Satoshi Vision is welcome to fork off to their own new path. Any forks from the Satoshi Vision path will not be Bitcoin and will have to come up with some other name for their fork.
  6. We'll hire a Satoshi front man. He'll study the one area of the subject matter very closely, just enough to stand on a stage and sound like he knows what he is taking about. Then we'll put him on display at every single opportunity imaginable. He'll build up a cult of unquestioning followers in that echochamber we created. In almost every sentence he will allude to the fact he is Satoshi, but of course he won't prove it. But that won't matter since we will encourage a culture of ignorance and loyalty within the cult. We'll make sure he talks in absolutes and applies strongman psychology tactics to pull more members into the cult. He'll post pictures of how rich and successful he is to signal people should follow him.
  7. We will fully patented anything you could possibly think of building on top, and anything that has already been built on top of BCH. If anyone wants to fork off they can fuck off because we own BCH now. Bitcoin has always been about using state power to enforce your will on people. If anyone tries to fork Bitcoin and devalue our patent portfolio we will attack them with our followers and lawyers.
  8. We will splash a bit of money on a few key pieces of infrastructure in the BCH ecosystem so that we look great to the community, but more importantly so that we can gag the people who built these tools. Then if anyone tried to fork we will go without the apps using our code, our IP etc. Without the companies we have invested in.
  9. If anyone who matters in the community questions us, we will call them 'socialists', 'enemies of the people'. We will create stories about them and how they are attacking Bitcoin and how they actually hate BCH. We'll burn them at the stake. All we need is for them to give up.
  10. We'll tell everyone that ONLY miners matter. We'll tell them not even economic non-mining nodes matter. Then we'll buy mining contracts to show how much hashrate we have so that we can push people to go along with us.

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You think we're joking?

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Compete!

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Fuck the community!

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We have more money than Rwanda!

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We only speak

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3 word sentences

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for dummies to follow

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And before you get any ideas, don't be like Peter and Emin and Amaury and Jihan and Haipo, all enemies of the people! Socialists! Segwit lovers! They want small blocks! They hate capitalism. [Insert final virtue signal]

submitted by /u/bitcoinsos
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/btc/comments/9a3t8u/announcing_bitcoinsos_soul_of_satoshi_client_the/

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